**This simple yet powerful practice is designed to help you and your partner deepen your connection, acknowledge each other’s efforts, and focus on what’s going well in your relationship.**

Why This Practice is Beneficial

Shifts Focus to the Positive – It’s easy to dwell on what’s frustrating or lacking in a relationship, but this practice helps redirect attention to what is working and what you appreciate about each other.
Encourages Connection & Closeness – Taking time to acknowledge one another fosters warmth, emotional safety, and deeper intimacy.
Reduces Resentment & Increases Gratitude – Regularly expressing appreciation can soften tensions and prevent small grievances from building up over time.
Strengthens Communication – It creates space for positive, heartfelt conversations that may otherwise get lost in the busyness of life.
Supports Resilience in Tough Times – When relationships go through challenges, focusing on even small positives can help keep the connection strong and remind you of what brought you together in the first place.

The Science Behind Gratitude

Research by Dr. Robert A. Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, has shown that regularly practicing gratitude can significantly improve emotional and physical well-being. In a landmark study, he and his colleague Michael McCullough found that participants who kept a gratitude journal—writing down things they were thankful for—experienced higher levels of happiness, improved sleep, and even better physical health compared to those who focused on hassles or neutral events. Their research highlights how shifting our attention to appreciation can rewire our brains for greater joy and resilience. By incorporating this simple gratitude practice into your relationship, you’re not only nurturing your connection but also strengthening your overall well-being.

Access the full study here: Greater Good

Read: "Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier" by Robert A. Emmons

**How to Practice:**

**Time Needed:** 10-15 minutes
**Best Time:** Before bed, during a quiet moment together, or over a cup of tea
**Materials:** A journal (optional)

Step 1: Create a Warm Space

Sit together in a cosy, relaxed setting. Take a few deep breaths and set the intention to connect with appreciation and love.

Step 2: Share 3 Things You Appreciate About Each Other

Each of you takes turns sharing three things you appreciate about the other. These can be simple or profound, such as:
“I appreciate how you made me a cup of tea this morning.”
“I love the way you always make me laugh when I’m stressed.”
“I’m grateful for your patience with me today.”

Step 3: Acknowledge What’s Going Well

Reflect on your relationship and name at least one thing that’s going well. This shifts focus from struggles to strengths. Examples:
“I feel like we’ve been really good at communicating lately.”
“I love how we’ve been making more time for each other.”
“I appreciate how we’ve been supporting each other with parenting.”

Step 4: Keep it Simple & Positive

This practice is about gratitude, not problem-solving. It can be tempting to add a “but” after a positive statement (e.g., “I appreciate you helping with dinner, but I wish you’d do it more often.”). Try to stay present with the good. If challenges need to be discussed, set aside a separate time for that.

Step 5: A Gentle Closing

To close, take a moment to hold hands, hug, or simply look into each other’s eyes with gratitude. You might say:
“I’m grateful for you and this life we’re building together.”
“I’m grateful that we can share this moment together.”

If you’d like, you can write these reflections in a shared journal to look back on during challenging times.

Take Note of How You Feel

As you do this practice, notice how you feel. Do you feel awkward, relaxed, or even resistant? It’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable at first—gratitude is a practice, and like any practice, it takes time to feel natural. But even small moments of appreciation can create profound shifts in our relationships and lives.

If you’d like to share your experience with me, I’d love to hear how this practice felt for you. Please email me at katy@katybullen.com.